The Blanket

It has taken me some to write this into words, but writing can heal the heart. I apologize for the lack of eloquence in words.  Writing is not my strength...

Growing up, we would go to auction sales of our deceased relatives.  My mom would always buy something that she could hold on to remember her relatives.  I remember one sale in particular and she really wanted this old fashion baby buggy.  It is pretty cool, from her aunt and uncles.  She dressed up in a parade with her siblings with it and she has such wonderful memories. If I remember right an antique collector was bidding against her until, he realized it was family and gave in.  We came home with this large beautiful baby buggy. My sister and I made porcelain dolls through 4-H, and many of them through our hands were placed in the buggy in the window of our dining room.  My mom also has this beautiful cabinet from my grandma's house and a couple of special chairs from relatives as well.  Another neat addition to my parents home is my dad's father's desk.  It has such character and fits just perfectly in the corner.

As our dining room got tighter and tighter with these special heirlooms, I made comments and sly remarks to my parents.  "Why do you need all this stuff? You have your memories to remember your loved ones.  Why do you need the stuff?"  I was harsh and told them to just let it go.  Of course, the immaturity of me wasn't met with a hard head, and they just let the words fly in the air and go.
Then there is this blanket...my Aunt Anita made for me a few Christmases ago.  She remembered my favorite color green, and it is so soft and warm.  I would occasionally take this blanket and wrap it around my legs for warmth as I read a book with a dim light before bed.

Flash forward...I've recently lost this special someone.  She was a remarkable women full of love, passion, and kindness.  I always said I wanted to be a children's librarian someday just like her.  It would be my dream job!  Then the week of her passing, in our classroom our story was "Tomas and the Library Lady."  It took every part of me to read the story that week, as I reflected on all the "Tomas kids" she touched as she worked tirelessly with the students from area schools in Sterling.

Now this blanket is no longer just a "blanket", but a comforter and healer for me as I wrap it tightly around me at night thinking of all the wonderful times I've had with her.  I've become protective of it as I don't want anyone else to touch it. Every time I flip the page of a children's book she gave me, which I either have at home or in my classroom, I think of her reading the words off the page. I couldn't imagine anyone else having these books.  I had to stop myself, as I said this is crazy, and then I thought of all the beautiful furniture items at my parents house.  How quickly I was to judge, when now I'm doing the same thing.

I know I don't need the blanket to keep all those beautiful memories tucked away in my mind, but there is just something about it to help make the connection.

So to my parents...keep your "blankets" for as long as you need them.  I can handle the clutter of a house.

Focus on others...

To start off, I want to thank everyone for helping out with sending birthday cards to my dad for his 60th birthday. I'm looking forward to seeing his reaction to receiving all the cards this week!  I love getting personal letters/cards in the mail, and I'm sure he will as well. 

Life is going to start picking up the pace a bit now as I start track season. It's hard to believe as I look out my window at all that light fluffy annoying beautiful snow.  This week also starts 40 days of Lent.  I haven't always been one to give something up from my life during Lent, but I do make time for more reflection. I came across on Pinterest an idea that a pastor posted last year and I think I will try this Lenten Season: 40 notes in 40 days - cultivating relationships through Lent. 

Here is what Pastor Robb said about the idea: There are no real rules to this idea.  This is just a way to write a note to 40 different people, and pray for them in the process.  I’ll leave the content of the note up to you.  Only share what you feel comfortable sharing with others.  For example, you don’t have to tell someone that you’re writing them a note to fill in their “might be fearful” slot, and you don’t have to offer forgiveness to the person on March 27.  Any note could be as simple as saying, “During the course of my prayers today, you came to mind.  I hope you are doing well.”

He also shares ideas of different people that you can send a note to during the time. I probably won't follow it all, but it is a great way to get some ideas.  Find out more here http://fatpastor.me/2013/02/12/40-notes-in-40-days.     

Curious to hear what you do for Lent. I'm praying that I'm able to complete the task. 

By the way a little update on my diary writing.  It has become a daily habit now, and it's been great to reflect everyday of what I've done.  Thanks again to my Aunt Anita for the journal at Christmas to spark my interest in starting the diary. 

2014 - Keeping History Alive

As a fan of technology, I finally purchased a smartphone a few months ago. Nothing fancy - not an iphone - but it does the trick.   I've fallen into using the instagram app.  I find that its fun to catch a moment in time to share with others every so often. I take a picture now and then to share with my friends.  What I've realized though is that we live in such an instant world. It makes me wonder though have we lost the art of keeping the old traditions alive.

Does anyone out there miss when you took photos with film, and then waited for it to be developed to see the surprise?

Do you miss getting a hand written note in the mail or a real phone call from a friend?

Does anyone miss the sound of music from a record player?

What about not having the internet and actually looking up information in a book?

Speaking of books, when using an electronic device to read, don't you miss the smell and feel of a real book?

I like to say I have an "old" heart.

My family has a beautiful tradition - writing in a diary.  We have diaries from several generations ago, and there is something magical about reading what people did on a day to day basis many years ago.  My parents have kept the tradition going by keeping a diary too. Every so often, my dad will get out a diary and read about what we did that day several years ago.  We might look up when we were born or what we did on our birthdays.  It's fun to hear about the weather and what we did to have a good time.
For Christmas this year, I received a journal from my aunt. It has encouraged me to continue on with this family tradition of writing about my daily life in a diary format in my own handwriting.  I can't wait to look back and read these memories with my family some day. I hope to keep you posted with this goal.

There is always something for which to be thankful...

This Thanksgiving seems to have a new meaning to me.  I think I've gained a new perspective this past year on giving thanks.  I've been doing the 30 days of thanks challenge on Facebook, posting each day something I'm thankful for.  I know for some it isn't your thing, but it has given me a chance to really reflect on each day and think about all the things I'm thankful for.  Even on those hard and trying days, I was still able to find something to give thanks to.
It is so easy sometimes to allow the selfish human side of us to sneak in, and we sulk in the things we don't have.  We reflect on what others have and want what our neighbors have.  We use the line, "Life's not fair," when things aren't going the way we wish they would go.  We get caught up in the great deals of the holiday shopping weekend, thinking we NEED all the latest and high tech gear. 
But I want to challenge you to be thankful for all circumstances in life.  A good friend of mine recently posted on her Facebook page being thankful for the hard and challenging times in her life this year. She is thankful for these moments, because now she can connect with others that may go through similar experiences in life. Wow!  What a powerful reflection for others in her faith and walk with Jesus Christ.
As Josh and I are journeying through being a licensed foster care home, we have truly been giving thanks in all circumstances. I never would have guessed 10 years ago that this is what my life would be like right now.  If life hadn't worked out the way it has, we wouldn't be starting this chapter in our lives. We are realizing how blessed we are to share our home. God has certainly been carrying us through this experience, and making us feel at peace through it all.  
So I hope that you are able to take some time and give thanks for all of your experiences, even though it may be difficult. 

4-H Memories Celebrating 100 Years

"I pledge my head to clearer thinking,
My heart to greater loyalty,
My hands to larger service,
and my health for better living,
for my club, my community, my country, and my world."

"To make the best better"  ....

As I went to judge with my mom at the 4-H fair yesterday memories flooded my mind as I thought back to all the years I was involved in 4-H and all the people that I met along the way. As I walked the buildings at the fairgrounds, I realized that 4-H isn't important to most people anymore. Club numbers seem to have dwindled, projects lay spread out with space in between the tables, and few kids enter the judging hall.  This breaks my heart as I see such an important program, no longer a part of kids lives. My experience in 4-H impacted me in so many ways, as I gained confidence, leadership skills, pride, etc. This year, 4-H is celebrating 100 Years, and I thought it would be appropriate to share some of my experiences as a 4-Her. I won't be able to list them all, but just would like to share a few.

1. Showing cattle at the fair and sleeping in the barns.  I still remember pranks being done to each other and bats flying over our heads at night.  (4-H by the way isn't just for "farming" kids!) We would work so hard going out to the farm to feed the heifers, work with them to tame them down, and then halter them to show.  Some of the best times I had were on the farm with my siblings and cousins working with our cattle.  Giving the cows a bath was priceless :)

2.  Modeling my clothing project that I bought each year.  No I didn't decide to be a model for a career, but I did gain confidence in myself.  I learned what it is to be a good shopper and look for quality in items that I purchase.  Through 4-H I learned what colors look good on me, and what colors I should avoid.  We were also a part of the "Fashion Board" and would work hard at designing the stage the the modeling show - Peggy Bolin, Pat Rod, and my mom were such great leaders to help us with this!

3. Giving "talks and demonstrations" at our club meetings.  We had to give a little speech about a topic and demonstrate how to do something in front of the club once a year.  This is how I learned public speaking skills and how to feel comfortable standing up in front of a group of people.  I learned how to run a meeting and was several different officers for the club throughout the years.

4.  Doing all different kinds of projects gave me the chance to learn new things and find out what I was good at and maybe not so good at - microwave muffins...not so much! lol  But I completed a wide variety of projects from citizenship, flowers, visual arts, cooking, passport to the world, photography, sewing for fun, etc.  I remember being so anxious to share my project with the judge, and then getting the positive feedback on my accomplishments.  If the project was "held-back" there was a possibility it might get more than a blue ribbon - even the chance to go to the state fair.

5. I think I attended the state fair with a project every year I was able to in 4-H.  You got the chance to see the quality of projects from around the state and get to show your project to a judge once again.  Receiving a superior at state was such an awesome feeling!

6. Most of all though I remember the relationships I built through being a part of 4-H. People I would never have met if I hadn't been a part of the program. You know who you are and I think of you all often! It is always great to run into you.

7. Now, I love to give back to the program that gave so much to me!

I could keep going on and on about all my experiences...

Most of all I have to thank my mom for being such an encourager of the 4-H program. She started the club in our community and I still remember the day we got to decide on a club name.  What a big deal!  The club is still going....Western Winning Wonders even though I think they now meet in Wyanet.  She was a 4-Her herself growing up and she wanted us to experience the joy and fun that she had.  We certainly did as kids. I hope that you check out the program for your own kids and see if you have a club in your community. I promise you it won't be something you will regret.

 I just hope that my children will get the chance to experience it as well.

(Please share your favorite memories)  Here is a link to the history.  They started to be called 4-H clubs in 1912. http://www.4-h.org/about/4-h-history/

A New Chapter...

Isaiah 40:31 Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

The following is not an easy blog post to make, but one that is needed for therapy and support. :)

Josh and I love kids!  We are content with just the two of us, but would love to have children of our own.  Things just don't seem to be working out for us though.  It has been very difficult full of heart-ache and emotions.  We don't feel the need to go into details about this, but you can read the following blog. http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/26/ten-words-that-describe-infertility/#comment-5298 

We have decided to start the process of Foster Care.  We felt that we have the room in our home and hearts to open them up to kids, and this would be a great way to do it.  We have gotten the preliminary things out of the way, and now we will begin taking the classes next week over the next two months, and completing the home study. We hope to learn a lot through the classes, and pray that we make the right decision about it. We ask that people do not judge us upon the decision that we make, and yes we are aware that our lives will be changed quite drastically, and it will be a very challenging task.  Deep down though in my heart of hearts, I know that if we can provide a safe haven for  a kid for a short time, what a blessing  that will be.  We may be asking in the next couple of months for some things that we may need to have on hand at our home, as we are thinking about taking any age of children from babies to teens.  

So at this point we just ask for prayers and thoughts as we begin this new chapter in our lives.  We pray that we make the right decision for us after the classes, and that we remain faithful to God through it all.   Thanks in advance for your support in this.  

P.S. A special note to all those that have children of your own.  Give them an extra hug and kiss and realize how blessed you truly are!  What a miracle and gift each child is! 

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28)

Refreshed...

Feeling refreshed...
I'm very thankful that my job gives us a two week break over the holidays.  I know I'm very lucky, as many people are barely lucky enough to have Christmas Day and New Year's Day off. It has been very relaxing and low key for us. A nice way to catch up on some sleep, spend time with my husband, and get attempt to get my house back into order. :)  I have found also that it is good for the soul.

As many of you know, I have a hard time saying "no" to requests of helping others.  Most of the time it is a good problem, but at times I can stretch myself too thin.  As I was pushing my way through the busy schedule of December, I would say that I was reaching my max and my soul was feeling it.  I wasn't in the best of mood and a load of stress was hanging over me.

 As I have been given this lovely break though, my soul has been warmed with good words, kind gestures, and great family time.  Just what I needed at this time.  Here is a short recap...

1. My brother and his family came when the power went out.  We enjoyed a meal together in the dark  enjoying the candlelight.  We were thankful for flashlights as we opened gifts that evening.  I wouldn't take that time back for anything. It allowed us to have some great laughs and conversation.

2. Josh and I focused over break in doing some random acts of kindness.  I don't care to share about each act because it isn't something we did to brag about, but some reactions were great...including giving a cup of coffee to the Bell Ringer at Wal-Mart.  What a $1 can do!

3. I have enjoyed waking up with my husband and drinking a nice cup of hot tea/hot cocoa in the mornings.

4. I actually am caught up with my laundry, dishes, and filing papers! (Just in time to start it again haha)

5. Cuddling with the cat---need I say more :)

As I am reminded of this lovely hymn:

It is well,
With my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul!

I hope that you took some time out for yourself and your soul is well!