I want to start by saying this has some heavy feelings of mine, so if you don't want to read "feelings", then you may skip this post! ;-) These are raw feelings. I'm not sharing these to make people feel guilty or bad. I think we (myself included) need a reminder of thinking about others and the experiences they may be going through and just give them time.
I have been listening to the audio version of Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. It has been given mixed review of the best book people have read down to one star rating. I haven't quite finished it, but it is certainly hitting the heartstrings today. I think if you can relate to the bittersweet life experiences she has had, it draws you into the book more. I really enjoy her voice reading the book as well. The book synopsis is working through life's struggles and how we face them.
One particular section of the book is about just needing a moment. The experience she shares was a time when she was with her friends at a wedding. It was a great time with lots of dancing, fun, food, and laughter. One of her friends was having a great time at the wedding, but at one point she went outside the dancing hall and had to cry. She just needed to release her feelings of pain of being at the wedding. Then, she came back in, ready to join the fun again.
Do you experience a "just need a moment" at times.
Are you wanting to get married and just can't find the one, so every time you hear about an engagement or attend a wedding it stings a little, and you just need a moment?
Are you asked after you are married, when are you having kids, when it isn't in your plans or just the opposite it is a plan that isn't going the way you thought it would, and you just need a moment sometimes?
Are you going through super hard financial times, and one thing after another makes you feel like you are never going to get ahead? Then you hear from your friends about their latest plans for a vacation or how great a vacation they had, and you feel the sting?
Maybe they flash pictures on social media of their new, beautiful home, and you just need a moment, before you join them in conversation about their amazing chapter in their life.
Or did you lose a loved one, and when you see families together, people spending time with their parents/grandparents, and it stings a little and you just need a moment, because you are missing that special someone in your life?
Maybe you have a sick loved one and all you want to do is feel normal again as you watch all your friends and family getting to do what they want to do? Take a moment.
I think we can all relate in some way of just craving a moment.
As many you know, Josh and I would love to have our own biological child. For some reason, this just hasn't worked out for us. Yes, we have two amazing children in our lives that bring us joy and happiness, but when people have a new baby and make a comment such as, "He looks just like his dad!" or "She is a great mix of both of you!" You hear others share about how amazing it is to look in the eyes of your newborn, knowing you created this beautiful life, it can hurt a little.
When I'm invited to a baby shower or see on social media about a baby announcements, this can sting a little for me, and I just need a moment. I am happy and excited for them, but truth be told, sometimes I can be resentful and mad. I'm human...these are real feelings. So, if I don't respond right away to you or it isn't the reaction you were hoping for, remember to give me a moment. I'll be back to celebrate with you.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. - Romans 12:15
We don't know everyone's story. Try to refrain from asking others: When are you getting married? When are you have kids? Isn't it about time for another one? Are you ever going to find someone? Why don't you just take a vacation? It doesn't cost that much, does it?
Sometimes we just like to tell others statements as well: Don't stress about it, it will happen during the right, time...It will get better...Things could be worse...Be grateful for what you do have...Remember you have all those great memories of your loved one..etc.
Instead my advice is to listen, embrace, and love!
For those of you who feel the longing for just a moment. Take it! Let your heart feel. Then, you can be ready to embrace life again.
This, my friends, is life - so just take a moment! 💓
